Stop putting people on a pedestal

I was recently having a conversation with my coach and was raving about my friends, mentors, clients, husband, and peers. I was talking about how amazing all these people in my life are and how I’m surrounded by so many people doing such incredible things. Sounds like a great place to be, right? I mean, who wouldn’t want to live a life surrounded by amazing people who inspire you on a daily basis? I thought I was in a great place until I had an insight. All shifts always start with an insight.

Shortly into our conversation, my coach stopped me in my tracks and said something that I was NOT expecting. It was a true blindspot for me (cheers to all the coaches out there committed to pointing out your blind spots!). What she said was, “It sounds like you are constantly putting people on a pedestal” and what she was hearing was absolutely accurate.

For years I have been putting people in my life on a pedestal and up until now I didn’t see anything wrong with it. I do know that it didn’t make me feel great. In fact, I felt like I was alone and disconnected from people a lot of the time. I often felt like the last kid picked for the dodgeball team. The truth is that the people in my life were great and they weren’t doing anything wrong. It was the way that I was relating to them that was simply not serving me anymore.

I started to notice all the areas where I put people on a pedestal (and it was a lot!). As I continued thinking about it, it begged the question, “What does putting people on a pedestal really cost us and what can we do about it?” There are two primary things that it costs us:

  1. It prevents us from experiencing deeper connections. When we’re putting someone on a pedestal it can prevent us from getting to know that person on a human level. We may find ourselves hiding or simply not being our authentic selves. If you find yourself here, start getting curious! Curiosity drives connection.

  2. It creates self-doubt. When we’re holding someone as higher than ourselves, we automatically deny our own greatness. Have you ever noticed when you’re putting someone on a pedestal you start feeling bad about yourself? We often go into the story of “I’m not THAT” (whatever that is). If you find yourself here, be compassionate with yourself and then identify three ways that you are great.

It is these simple shifts in perspective that will allow you to experience a deeper level of connection and intimacy in your already amazing life! Next time you find yourself in a situation where you’re putting someone on a pedestal, go find a pedestal for you to stand on as well. Know that the greatness that you see in other people is the same greatness that you have in yourself.

Big Love! xx

Karlie Everhart