I Got Laid Off And Thought I Was Worthless
Last week marks one year since I got laid off from my big, fancy corporate job. You know the fancy job: the one with the Director title, the six-figures, the team in Los Angeles, New York and Chicago; THAT fancy corporate job. Being an Enneagram Three “The Achiever”, the corporate job meant everything to me. It meant that I was valuable because when you fall into the trap of the ego, “The Achiever” tries to achieve to feel valuable. I also felt that the ability to influence and lead a team gave me purpose. My management style is that of a Mother Goose, I fight, protect and guide my ducklings so they can fly. Having the opportunity to do that on a daily basis gave me LIFE. Then there was the money. The money was good. The money made me feel secure, it made me feel like I was worthy, it meant that I was a success. Again, something that “The Achiever” in me really valued. In fact, managing a team and making good money were among the only reasons that I felt valued and valuable.
Given my way of relating to my corporate job, when I was laid off you can imagine how challenging it was. I was crushed, I was ashamed, I was embarrassed. I wanted to hide and certainly wanted to make sure that nobody ever found out what really happened. I started thinking about the narrative I would share with friends and professionals so I didn’t look weak or incapable, but as the days, weeks, months went on things started to shift.
First, I realized that I was valuable because I exist not because of the fancy job that I had. I’ve spent the last year deepening in the knowing that I am inherently valuable and that the job or money I make does not make me worthy or valuable and it doesn’t make you more valuable either.
Second, if I lost my job then it wasn’t the job for me. I was introduced to this idea through the work of Byron Katie. The truth is that we can’t lose something that is truly meant for us. I had been working on building my coaching practice on nights and weekends while I was in corporate, so losing my job gave me the opportunity and space to do what I love. Being laid off redirected me to go in the direction of my heart and soul. Now I get to do what I love every day. I work with women who light me up and inspire me and I get to support them in flying in the direction of their dreams.
Lastly, I discovered that this experience happens to more people than you know. When I got laid off, I started talking to friends, co-workers, and entrepreneurs and I began to discover that this is something that happens to a lot of people. In fact, it was commonly the catalyst that had people start their new business or gave them the space to reconnect with themselves. It was an opportunity to reset and recharge. Everyone who had gone through this experience seemed to have come out the other end flourishing.
Now that it’s been a full year since I was laid off, I can honestly say that it was one of the biggest gifts I’ve received to date. While I don’t wish being laid off on anyone, the truth is that I am able to connect with myself and my inherent value more than I ever have before. I trust in divine timing, I treat myself with compassion, I do what I love and I look forward to what’s to come.
If you know of anyone who has recently been laid off, please share this article with them to let them know that everything is working FOR them even though it might not feel like it right now.
Big love! Xx