Investor Meetings & Bathing Suit Bottoms
A few years ago I was having a conversation with a client who is an entrepreneur. She cares about social change, she’s a friend, a sister, a partner and she’s on a big mission to change the world. This woman is unstoppable, yet she was up against one of the traps that people who are up to big things tend to fall into, she was putting herself last.
We were in the midst of unpacking this pattern when she said, “I wear bathing suit bottoms to my investor meetings!” As a byproduct of not prioritizing herself the laundry would pile up and when important meetings came up she found herself having to wear her bathing suit bottoms. The problem is that the impact was far greater than a quick swap of some clean undies to a cute bikini, it was making her feel like a fraud and would cause her confidence to plummet mid-meeting. “How can I expect these people to give me millions of dollars and trust me with running a business when I can’t even keep up with my laundry?!?” she said. I understood that this question came from a deep desire to start taking care of herself in a more meaningful and nurturing way.
What was happening to my brilliant client wasn’t actually out of the ordinary, it happens to so many women, me included. We know that taking care of ourselves is important, and we still don’t do it. In fact, a self-nurture study by Thymes Limited found that 76% of American women spend up to 10 hours a day caring for partners, husbands and/or children (or husbands that act like children – I added this part in – seemed like a missed opportunity if I didn’t) and 20% of women said if they take an hour to themselves it would make them feel selfish, guilty or anxious. In the same study, 89% of women say they'd describe a woman who takes time each day to self-care as `a woman with good self-esteem who knows it's important to care for herself.
I want to help you bridge that gap between what you know to be good for you and your actions which is what ended up having my client go from surviving to thriving. It’s the tiny actions we take or don’t take that create the biggest impact, so here are a few ways to nourish your spirit so you can feel confident and connected to the truth of who you really are:
Self-nurture list: Make a list of 30-50 ways you can nurture yourself (taking a sip of water, making some tea, meditating, taking a walk, petting your pet, etc.) Having a list you can easily reference takes the guesswork out of it. It sets you up for success because you don’t even have to think about what you can do, you’ll already have a list.
Do an energy audit: Take time throughout the day to assess your energy levels and use a stop light to check in with yourself. Red means I’m about to lose myself, I’m at capacity; yellow means I’m starting to feel myself get out of control and it would be wise to slow down; green means I’m feeling energized and connected to myself. When you start to get into yellow and red territory look at your self-nurture list, choose something there and feel yourself come back to center
Start small: try finding 3-5 minutes a day doing something that nourishes your soul. Overtime you can carve out more time, but starting small allows us to build consistency which leads to an increase in self-trust and self-confidence
Parts work: If you feel selfish or guilty when you carve out time for yourself, be with the part that feels selfish or guilty and ask it what it needs and what it needs to hear
Find fun ways to do mundane things: Next time you’re doing laundry or dishes, put on some fun music and dance your way through it or listen to a thought-provoking podcast. Mastering the skill of doing things even when you don’t want to do them, is a hidden skill that will have you achieving anything you’ve ever wanted in life.
If you’re in a season of life that has you wearing your version of bathing suit bottoms, please reach out! I would love to support you.
You got this and I got you!
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