Why Are We in Such A Hurry?
Over the last few weeks, I’ve been sitting with the idea of being in a hurry for two reasons. One is because I’ve noticed my own pressure to figure “it” out FAST (cue: the discomfort of not knowing what the hell I’m doing at times) and two because one of the biggest pain points I see in my clients is their own desire to hurry to get it all figured out whatever, “it” is for them. A hurry for a promotion, a hurry to reach a specific goal around fitness, a hurry to figure out a career move – it’s a lot of rushing – all the time.
In fact, one study done through Pew Research Center found that over 75% of Americans feel rushed and working moms are suffering the most, with one-third of working moms saying they feel rushed. The pressure to always be achieving and moving at a fast pace prompted two cardiologists, Meyer Friedman and Ray Rosenman, to coin the term “hurry sickness” after observing many of their patients suffering from severe time urgency.
I understand hurry sickness on a visceral level. I would say I’m in recovery from hurry sickness although I do find myself face-to-face with a relapse from time to time. In a society that is so obsessed with achieving, we wear ‘hurrying’ like a badge of honor. We’re praised for the achievements we collect – the faster the better. We use efficiency as a success metric and measure our value based on how hard we’re willing to grind. I’m embarrassed to admit, but as a manager working in corporate I remember judging my direct reports as lazy or not cut out for the job if they took lunch. And I’m not alone, Professor Richard Jolly out of the London Business School found that 95% of managers suffer from hurry sickness, so it’s being perpetuated from the top down. We’ve been conditioned to believe that we’ll be happier when we get “there” but at what cost does all this hurrying come at?
I wasn’t surprised to find that only 27% of Americans who always feel rushed say they’re happy with their life. Since being in a hurry isn’t actually working like we think it is (PSA: being in a hurry doesn’t make us finish tasks faster) I’m serving up some alternatives to the rush form a few of my favorite people to help you experience a greater sense of peace:
What you are seeking you were born to create (Kyle Gray)
Read that again. Imagine if you actually believed that what you are seeking you were born to create? It’s waiting for you, no matter how long it takes you to get there. Nobody is going to take it away from you. You don’t need to rush. It’s not a rat race. It is your birthright. Take the time to explore what lights you up. Follow what brings you joy and leave the shoulds behind. Take tiny steps toward the direction of your dreams knowing that it’s waiting for you – no matter how long it takes for you to get there.
Slow Down to Speed Up (Rich Litvin)
When we find ourselves with a desire to go faster in life, but are feeling stuck or burnt out it’s usually a sign that we need to slow down. Contrary to popular belief, it’s actually in the slowing down that allows us to speed up. Build in moments of recovery and rest into your day.
The Infinite Game (Simon Sinek)
The infinite game is the idea that there is no beginning or end. We have ahead days and behind days, but the game of life we’re playing is an infinite one. There is no destination to arrive at. By playing an infinite game we begin to enjoy the journey. We get out of the thinking trap that “I’ll be happy when…” and we start enjoying life now.
Finally, when we feel the need to rush it’s usually an indication that we’re trying to control circumstances and allowing outside pressure to influence our way of being, so use these questions to check in with yourself:
Where did this timeline come from?
Am I attempting to outsource my value?
Am I comparing myself to someone?
Whose voice is telling you that you need to go faster or achieve more?
You got this and I got you. xx