The Conversations We Should Be Having About Quiet Quitting
Two weeks ago I came across an instagram post about quiet quitting that lit a fire in my belly. I’ve been hesitant to write this post in fear of upsetting people, but the truth is that most of the time important things will upset people and I’m okay with that. Before I dive into the bone I have to pick with Quiet Quitting, I think it’s important to share that in my corporate career I had many roles: I worked nights and weekends putting in endless hours as an assistant, I’ve cried multiple times in the bathroom because of the way I was spoken to and/or I didn’t have the tools or the words at the time to stand up for myself, I’ve managed teams ranging from two people to 25 people – domestically and internationally. I’ve had multiple people who have left their jobs to come work for me because they were inspired by the type of leader I was, I’ve had people quit on me with no notice because they thought I was too demanding, and to micro-managey. I’ve been super engaged and not engaged at all. The point is, I’ve been in many shoes, which has given me quite a few perspectives to look at quiet quitting.
Quiet Quitting was coined by Mark Boldger at an Economic Symposium in 2009 about diminishing ambition. It is said to have had a resurgence in the United States, after the social protest Tang Ping happened in China in April 2021. Tang Ping is a movement rejecting the societal pressure to overwork. In the United States, Quiet Quitting has come to mean setting boundaries, doing the bare minimum, and not going above and beyond if your effort doesn’t match your compensation, which are all conversations worth having but there are some major things missing.
The first conversation we should be having around Quiet Quitting instead of what is currently being talked about brings us back to its original meaning, and is around our desires. When the term was first introduced, its connection was to diminishing ambition. Nowadays, instead of owning one's desires around ambition, people are bypassing the inner work with a “sick it to my employer, I’m not going to work hard for you” type of attitude, which is not very empowering. A much more powerful, albeit difficult, approach would be to get curious about what you actually desire. Perhaps that looks like giving yourself permission not to climb the corporate ladder or focus on family or hobbies outside of work. Spend the time getting crystal clear on what it is you desire and then do the inner work to update any limiting beliefs that tell you it’s not okay to want what you want. There is so much more power in owning your desires than being resentful at your employer because when you own your desires, you are in control of your own destiny.
The second conversation we should be having is actually around boundaries, but it’s different from the boundary conversations being had. What I’m currently hearing is people using boundaries as a buzzword to bypass their actual work. They’re using “boundaries” as a way of not working at all – of distancing themselves from their employer. Unfortunately, I’m here to turn your buzzword into a buzzkill (just for a moment). The truth is, it is actually possible to work hard AND set clear boundaries (if that’s what you want). When your boss piles more things on your plate, it’s possible to say “Hey, I know these are all important but I only have 2 more hours left of the day, what is the highest priority right now? Can anyone else help with the other tasks or can these extra things wait until tomorrow?” Most people look at boundaries as a way to keep people out, but boundaries are actually a gateway to connection. If you didn’t didn’t care about the person you’re setting a boundary with, you wouldn’t communicate your boundary in the first place. Start viewing boundaries as a way to foster deeper connection with your employer. Speak up about what you can and cannot handle, let your boss help you.
Third, I deeply encourage people to ask more questions about culture, work-life-balance, and things that are important to you in the interview process. Be an active participant in creating the future you want. You are interviewing your employer just as much as they are interviewing you. The clearer you are about the role you are accepting and the culture you’re about to step into, the less likely you’ll be resentful and angry at your employer about the work you are doing. Once you are in the role, ask your boss for regular 1:1’s so you can have ongoing conversations about expectations, workload, and your trajectory.
Finally, Language is so important and for me the phrase quiet quitting sounds very disempowering — even though the intent is meant to be empowering. A few other phrases you can consider that are more powerful: I’m stepping into leadership, I’m creating my own destiny, I’m practicing setting clear boundaries, I’m prioritizing my needs.
Big love,
Karlie